Life changes

Wow, for one I can not believe it is October, I mean seriously where has 2012 gone? This year has been a year of serious heartbreak and change. With my job being seasonal I have always been scared to move out on my own, well guess what?! I finally did it and I love living on my own. I have a great roommate. And guess what? I am making it work :). I've become more frugal :). Which is completely shocking lol.

Life sometimes takes an INTERESTING turn!

I really should not have a blog. I suck at blogging. Half the time I forget I have a blog. LOL! Well, the end of April I told a guy who I used to work with in my old department that I liked him and I have liked him for over 4 years. At the time I didn't say anything to him because he was engaged. But I always used to talk to him and casually flirt with him. Well his EX-fiancee left him in November. I didn't find this out until I came back to work. Anyway, he was gonna go to Lake Tahoe to live and try to work things out with her. Well, she basically told him there is nothing left to fix. We are done. Things are going exceptionally well for both of us. And I hope it continues to! :).

I suck at blogging!

I used to blog all the time. What happened? What has happened since August? A lot of things!!!

September 28th: Went to the Erasure concert with Travis. Had a blast.

September 30th: My uncle Mike was found dead at my home. He let the demon he had for years over take him. He died of a drug overdose. I hate the fact that he let drugs over rule his life and it ultimately caused his demise. It was a blow to my entire family.

October 6th: My 30th birthday. It ended up being a great day. Hung out with Maryann part of the day. And then spent the rest of the day hanging out with Travis. It ended up being a great day. October 10th was travis's birthday. Spent the entire day with him. Was a lot of fun.

October: Buried my uncle, lost a friend to cancer, turned 30th and enjoyed life. And I moved! It was a stressful and hard month!

November: Was told that I would be off work for 10 months. (Ended up being only 2 months!). Spent thanksgiving with my family. Also spent thanksgiving with Travis and his family. Got pretty sick right after Thanksgiving.

December: I went to Vegas with Travis to pick up his friend Trish. It was a lot of fun. We went to the Reel Big Fish concert. It was a quick trip. But we went down to bring Trish back for Christmas. I had a hard time driving home with the heater on. I kept falling asleep. Spent some of Christmas with my family. But I spent most of it with Travis. I spent the weekend of New years with him.

Then in early January. Travis decided to be in an exclusive relationship with the other girl he'd been dating. The one who never made time for him and would always cancel on him. Oh wait she still does that. He won't ever figure out that he deserves better. It's been hard. But I am moving on from him. I've gone on some dates. :). I went and visited my best friend Cindy for a week. She definitely knows how to cheer me up. She was my own personal shrink the entire time I was there.

I went back to work January 30th!!! I am glad to be back. I was going crazy being off.

Rollercoaster

I hate that it seems like I NEVER have time to write much anymore.. Seriously when did life get so busy that we can't do the little things? I miss blogging but at the same time I don't have much to say sometimes.. I work, sleep, work, sleep, work sleep.. have a weekend, sleep and then continue the next week.

So, back in April I started dating Travis. Him and I started talking in March. He is 33 will be 34 4 days after my 30th birthday.. He was married for 4 years but with the chick for 9 years and they separated last October. In December he was laid off from his good paying job and his divorce was final in February. So he has gone through a lot in the last 10 months.

Travis and I have a lot in common, and when I say a lot I mean a lot.. it's even odd that we finish each others sentences. We are so much a like that it's funny. We even like a lot of the same music.

Well, I have fallen in love with him and I did a while ago... and I finally told him this last saturday. I didn't mean for it to happen it just did. The reason it is so hard for me date him right now is he doesn't feel like he can be exclusive with me right now, which I can understand, he's been through a lot. Travis and I almost ended everything last saturday, and it was very emotional for me. But it ended up being a miscommunication over text. But we talked about it... and I told him how I truly feel and why it hurts me so bad to know he goes on another date here or there.

I found out last month that he was dating another girl and it pissed me off. It's like tell me upfront your doing that. I almost sent him packing then.

I have been on a "Love Rollercoaster" for the past 6 weeks, and it sucks. I really hope one day soon he pulls his head out. He just tells me he can't be a good boyfriend right now cause his life is so up in the air..

He better figure it out one day or this girl is moving on... and not looking back..

Rosie

WOOHOO! I finally decided to buy a brand new car! My old car was fine but I felt like it was a car a young kid right of high school would drive. My sister has been wanting a car so I decided that she could take over my payments on the other car..(I owe just one more year on it) and that I would get a new car! I didn't plan on getting a Honda! I drove a Civic and I was in love. I couldn't beat .9% on interest for 5 years. I was shocked that I got that interest rate. COMPLETELY SHOCKED! I absolutely love my new car. Check out the pics on facebook! :)

GooGoo for Gaga! And still loving the Scissor Sisters....

Last night I went to the Lady Gaga Concert! :). It was a great show. She really has a great message. She said she was bullied as a kid and teenager. She really has a beautiful voice. She said we should accept all people not matter their ethnicity, sexual orientation or how they look. My mom from when I was young told me to accept everyone. The woman can dance... sing and put on an AWESOME SHOW!

My favorite band is the Scissor Sisters... and they opened up for her! I saw them in Vegas back in September of 2010! And met the lead singer of the Scissor Sisters. He was so nice. The other lead singer Anamatronic (her name is Anna lol) said at last nights concert that "You probably haven't heard of us unless your British or gay." I am neither British or gay. My friend just happened to stumble across their music. I am so glad she did. I love the Scissor Sisters music! 3 of the 4 band mates are gay men. Ana is married. This was probably one of the best concerts I have been too! It was great!

I need to stay focused!

Yes, I have been going to the gym... some days I have lacked motivation but I can't DO THAT anymore! Now, that I am going back to work I think that having to be to work by a certain time and getting to the gym will work just fine. I need to get in better shape... I need to be more healthy.

Back to reality!

I go back to work on Monday the 14th. I can not wait. I have been furloughed from work since December 3rd. I have enjoyed the time off :). But it's time to go back. I need to start saving up for my Washington DC/NYC trip in October!! Can't wait! It's gonna be awesome. I am going to go see my cousin Jaymie I have not seen in almost 12 years. It's going to be a great reunion!

I HATE Valentines Day!

Most people love this holiday! I do not. I think one of my "trials" in life is that I have not found the one I am supposed to marry. Most of my friends are married and have been for years! Then there is me the 29 year old single girl. SUCKS!

I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!!

No Excuses

So the past 6 weeks I have been working out. I am LOVING it! I crave exercise now. For the most part I have not drank pop in 6 weeks. I have replaced my love with pop with water. Every day I get up and get excited to go to the gym. I usually don't have time to read. But I have started reading while I am walking on the treadmill. I am enjoying the weight training aspect of exercising. Although it a lot of times kicks my butt. It hasn't been hard to start eating better. I have started using a calorie tracker app on my phone. And it has helped me make better choices when I eat if I am out and about with family or friends.

A lot of people recently have talked about wanting to get in shape but have not taken ACTION to do what they really NEED to do. People use the excuse that they don't have the time to exercise. I love this quote from my gym....

"Those who think they have no time for exercise, will sooner or later have to find time for illness."

Which is completely true. If you don't make time for the gym or exercise now you will have health problems in the future. Heart problems run in my family with some people who are a little more overweight also diabetes runs in my family. I do not want to have either. I want to live a long healthy and happy life and getting in shape will make me more healthy. It also has been a good stress relief for me.

My life as of late...

Well, I am finally starting to feel the pains of the economy. Yes, I have a great job. But, I can't work if congress doesn't pass the federal budget as a seasonal employee. It's really starting to piss me off. I make good money and I my sole provider. If I am not making money I am not able to pay my bills. Granted I get good unemployment but the crappy part is I owe taxes this year. And I HAVE TO PAY THEM ON TIME! Or I am totally screwed. I can lose my job. Yes, I am a little stressed.

January 24-29th I went and visited one of my best friends.. Cindy! I had a great time. And I am gonna make a point of seeing her a few times a year even if it going down on a weekend :). We had a lot of fun. I feel like whenever I see her that we just pick up where we left off. She claims that she is boring. But I love spending time with her! She is someone I aspire to be like!

The gym is going well. A couple weeks ago I took a week and a half break. I was sick and then went to Cindy's I am feeling great. I have a strong support system and that has been awesome.

30, fLiRty & FaBuLoUs!!!

Okay so for the past few weeks I have seriously felt depressed. I am one who is positive and happy but recently I have really felt down. I had read a journal entry from a few years ago that I had made. Sad, thing is I had a lot of the feelings that I had from then. And guess what the problem was? ME! I'll admit it. I am one that thinks life should just happen for me. If I want to change MY life, I have to do it myself!!! I am not gonna lose weight by hoping. I have to take action to get what I want in LIFE! By not taking action I am losing out on life and it's my own fault.

So what is in store for me this year? I am turning 30 which I'll be honest is freaking me out! But to be honest why should it? It's just a new chapter in my life. If I am able to get time off work I am going to visit my cousin Jaymie in Washington DC for 2 weeks. What a way to turn 30? Going on vacation.

I am my own worst critic I need to get back to the gym which I am starting today...and not give up and keep going. My weight isn't gonna fall off overnight!!!!! I shouldn't expect it too!

So here is to a great year! I am gonna start making myself a better person mentally, physically and emotionally! It's gonna be a long journey but I am ready!

Does anyone even read my blog?

Probably not!! I rarely post anything. Not that I don't have lots going on. I just sometimes think I am lame! Which is why I don't post..

What have I been up to?

Well, I was extremely sick over Thanksgiving and almost had to go to the ER thanksgiving day. I could not breathe. I could go outside and breathe just fine because it was so cold. Well like an idiot I still went and did Black Friday shopping with my friend and her friend. Got home at 7am and I slept till 3:30 and then went to the doctor. I had a virus.. but also had an ear infection. Even though I was so sick I still went to the BYU vs UTAH football game. It was an awesome game. :). Then on December 3rd I got furloughed from work. It has been extremely nice having time off work but I am starting to get bored. December 4th I went to a fun ornament exchange party. Well, like an Idiot my paint didn't dry on my ornaments so they had leaked out. That was interesting.. but they turned out cute. Then later that day I went to go the festival of trees with my friend's Tiffany and Felice and Tiffany's little girl Paisley! It was a blast. December 15th I had a work Christmas party that I went to. It was good seeing my team. On December 18th, I went to my friend Jessica's ward party.. It was actually kind of lame and Jessica would admit that too. Her and I exchanged gifts and then her friend from her ward came over and we talked for a good 3 hours. It was a pretty intense conversation.. but her friend Robyn is super nice! As most of you know I have been struggling with my beliefs at church which has kept me away over half of the last decade. A lot of what Robyn was talking about opened my eyes to some things. It was great. Christmas was wonderful with my family. I just LOVE my family and all of my awesome friends... they always spoil me and I am so grateful for everything people do for me. I went to my grandma's house on Christmas. It was great!! We ate, opened gifts and just enjoyed being together as a family.

I am starting ANOTHER EXERCISE program tomorrow. It's time to get in shape. I no longer feel "comfortable" in my own skin.. which means I need to make some life changes... so here goes.. Those who have lost weight, how do you keep the motivation?

So Sad... :(

As most of you know. I am a HUGE University of Utah fan. I was so sad that they let TCU dominate the game yesterday. They didn't even show up to the game and got their butts kicked. I know that they are a better team than that. They let this big game get to their head and then BAM.. nothing. 47-7 guys? Seriously? What pissed me off the most that maybe 20,000 fans left early! And then Utah fans started booing their team. Come on guys, they can't win them all.. and you LOVE them when they win.. can't you love them when they LOSE? GRRR! Oh well. I am hoping they atleast go 11-1 on the season!!

So fed up.... WITH MEN!

So, I feel like I just wasted the last 6 almost 7 months of my life. I had been dating a guy. And well Thursday he had said something about hanging out this weekend. Well, I told him that he had been acting distant lately (which he had been). And I basically told him I have felt like I have been in the friend zone a while. And he said and I quote "We are friends. I really don't want more than that with anyone right now. But you are important to me. I apologize for being distant lately." For one, why had he been leading me on for months and telling me he likes me...and then says that. For two.. be man enough that you are ALMOST 30 and just say hey right now I am not looking for anything upfront. Instead of stringing my emotions a long for months. He will email me at work and act like nothing is wrong, so I had to send him an email that said.. let me clear my head and then maybe we can be friends in the near future. I am fed up with dating. Seriously. I am 29 and I feel like I have dated a lot of "young" guys who don't know what the heck they want.

I would like my friends to set me up with guys they think I would be compatible with rather than ones that I have nothing in common with. I really want to be in a relationship that leads to marriage. I am meeting all the wrong guys. It sucks. People keep saying

You gotta kiss a lot of frogs, to find your prince.

My response is...

You live in a fantasy world and have watched too many DISNEY movies.

My heart is broken and I feel sad...

29 things I want to accomplish before my 30th birthday.

Well it's an hour into my birthday. I have been pretty negative lately. I always get a little meloncholy around my birthday cause I never feel like I really accomplish anything. I have decided that it's time to make me a better me and start doing stuff to better my life. Here are 29 serious and funny things I want to do in the next year.

1. Get back to the gym and lose weight.
2. Start eating better.
3. Learn how to budget my money better and stick to a budget.
4. Have a couple thousand saved dollars saved up in my savings account.
5. Get out and meet new people.
6. Try to start going back to church.
7. Get out and date more.
8. Go on some vacations.
9. Get a permanent position with the Federal Government.
10. Buy a flat screen tv and a blu ray player.
11. Pay down my debt.
12. Be a better friend.
13. Reconnect people from my past.
14. Be the best person I can be.
15. Be more positive.
16. Take more pictures.
17. Read more.
18. Learn to be happy with myself.
19. Live with no regrets.
20. Do more crafts.
21. Be happy with being single.
22. Get a passport and use it!
23. Visit with my grandma more.
24. Move into my own place.
25. Write poetry more often.
26. Stop and "smell the roses" everyday, find the joy in every day.
27. Learn to sew.
28. Make someone's day whenever you can.
29. Thank God everyday for something.

Let's hope that I can do this. :). Even if I don't that's okay. But.. in the next year of my life I want to try to start making something of myself.

Lion King!!

So, this afternoon I went to my first broadway show.. granted I know I am NOT anywhere close to NYC. But Capitol Theatre has broadway shows from touring companies. I saw Lion King and I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! :) Rafiki was my favorite character in the musical. In the movie Rafiki's voice is a man's voice in the play it's a woman who had an amazing voice. :). It was so colorful and fun. I went with my friend Felice and her family it was fun. :). I need to go musicals more often. I LOVE THEM!

What have I been up to?

Can't say that I have been up to much! Well, I take that back. It's been a fairly busy summer, I have worked overtime all summer, which has made for some nice checks. Looking like I will get some time off at the end of the year. Which I am looking forward too. I hate working around the holidays.

Since I am single I have decided I need to travel more. So next year for my 30th birthday I am going to Washington DC. I have a cousin back there who said I could stay at her house. So, I plan on being gone for 2 1/2 weeks. Should be a good time. I am also planning a trip to San Francisco with a couple of friends.. And not to mention, I am going to vegas in a little under 3 weeks! I will be flying in a plane for the first time. But I am excited. It'll be fun! I will be going to a concert of one of my favorite bands, going to the bellagio for dinner one night (heard they have the best buffet), going shopping, watching college football, Going to a cirque de solei show, people watching and just have a fabulous time with my friend felice. :) Can't wait!

My 29th birthday is coming up pretty soon. I am trying to decide what I want to go and do. :)

Flaming Gorge & Vegas!

So from July 9th-11th I was in flaming gorge with my step dad's side of the family. The water was too cold to swim in (that didn't stop the kids from swimming). I went swimming twice and had enough. I got lost on the way up there and drove 50 miles out of the way. Oh well. It was fun though. Didn't take any pictures. But my dog had a blast in the water. It rained a lot, and it was super hot. I had from the 9th-13th off of work. It was a much needed break!

I am so excited! I am going to Vegas in September with one of my favorite and bestest friends Felice. We are going to our favorite band's concert, going to a cirque de solei show and I AM FLYING for the first time in my life. I can't wait to go!

New bedroom set

I bought a new bedroom set for a little over $1,000.00. It's fantastic! :). LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT! It came with a tall dresser, night stand, headboard and footboard, and a shorter dresser that you can put a TV on. I get it delivered on thursday. And the best part is I have a year to pay it off. Can't wait!