Saturday, January 2, 2010

I've come to realize....

As I get older that friends come and go..but there are a few precious ones to hold on to forever. I have a friend who I have been friends with for years drop off the face of the earth in the past year. Last I saw her was at the Celine Dion concert last february. I emailed her, called her, even sent her a christmas card. NOTHING.. no acknowledgement. No saying "Hi, everything is okay". I'm done trying with her. I was in her wedding. Got to know her after high school.. but she was a year ahead of me in school. I do understand life is busy...and at times I am not the best friend because sometimes I let too much time go by before I call or email someone. Life gets busy and time escapes me. A lot of good friends from high school...I really don't have contact with! I have two of my best friends from high school I'm on contact with and that is Cindy and Maryann. Everyone else I ocassionally talk to on facebook. It makes me sad, but it's a part of life. My ten year high school reunion is this year. And to be honest I am not sure if I am gonna go. A lot of those people from high school are on facebook. But why spend money to go to a reunion to see a lot of people that you'll make intentions of staying in contact with when you know that you won't. I mean honestly.. Im still single and I work... who wants to hear about my life the past 10 years? Nothing of great importance happened in my life..Im curious to see where some of my friends are. But, if our friendship had been more important wouldn't we have made an effort to stay in contact or heaven forbid see each other in the past 10 years? I just don't think I am going to the reunion! Unless I am dragged which could be a possibility. Most of my friends now are friends I've made in the last 10 years..and most of them have been through work. I do have several friends I've met through work whom I hang out with on a regular basis outside work. I remember a saying for elementary that said "Make new friends but keep the old one is silver and the other is gold!". Isn't that the truth.

I've also come to realize that if I want to have things in life.. I have to work for them. If I want to lose weight I have to work for it. It's not just going to happen over night. This is the year I am going to get in shape. I know, I know I say that. But I am 28 years old and sick of being the "funny fat chick". I went and bought a wii fit, signed up for weight watchers and have my gym membership. I am not going to let my worse enemy defeat my will to lose weight. I am my own worse enemy. Guys in Utah like the skinnier girls. And if people tell me they don't I think they are lying. I've always been one to go on plenty of dates, have plenty of boyfriends but it seems like it never ends up working out. I attribute that to my lack of self confidence because I am overweight. I am shy with guys, always have been. I think losing weight i'd feel more confident to approach a guy who I think is cute. Im sick of watching my life pass me by. Im 28 years old and what do I have to show for myself? I have a great job..whoopti do! Most people my age have kids and a wife or a husband. Own their own home...and the list could go on! People say I am lucky that I am not married yet well when you've been single this long it starts to become a burden. I hate when I first meet someone their first question is "Do you have kids?" "Are you married?" "Oh, well how come you aren't married yet?" It's annoying. What do I tell them? I don't know why I am not married yet. How can I answer that question? Is there anything wrong with me? NO. Am I a mutant? No... I just am not married yet. Anywhere else in the country I'd be normal because they don't get married until they are in their 30s! But guess what now.. that it's 2010 and in 2011 I will be 30. 30 scares me. I need to start living life. BETTERING my life...and do stuff for myself. I need to exercise, eat right, lose a house or condo, go back to school...and do something with my life rather than watching it pass by me. I am going to start living my life like I will never get married...and buy a house, go to school, work...and hang out with friends when I get a chance. No one can do these things for me. I keep throwing around the idea of moving out of Utah. I think the main reason I want to do that is because Im not having any luck with the guys in Utah. I just want to go where it's normal to be 28 and not married. Rather than being in Utah's bubble where 28 is an old maid... I remember when I was in high school and I saw people from church who were 25 or 30 and not married. I wondered what was wrong with them and why they weren't married. And now I am one of those non married people.. It's all so frustrating. People keep saying it'll happen in time. Well I am giving up hope on the whole thing..and I am going to better myself and if my better half comes into my life then great! If not then atleast I'll have my own life!

HAHA! Man, this post probably makes me sound like I am depressed. I'm not I just felt like venting. I am blessed for the friends I have. The friends I will meet. I am grateful to have an good paying job in this economy! I just hope that good things will happen in 2010 for my friends, my family and for everyone. :).


Todd and Angie Powell said...

Hey Kari I liked your post. And I heard once that friends come and go, but they all are eternal friends.

I think of you as one of my eternal friends, and when this life is all over with we'll have great stories to tell each other :)

You can do anything that you put your mind too, and I'm so proud of all the things you have accomplished so far in your life.

Love ya Angie ;)

Cindy said...

Bryan made a contract with himself outlining his weigtloss goals and other goals that he has in his life. He had me witness it and he has been sticking to it. I think that the secret to making these types of goals is to never give in, even once. Every time you stick to it, it makes you stronger. Every time you give in it makes you way weaker. I think this is true for every aspect of your life. I have some goals this year that I know I just HAVE TO DO IT. I can't say, I'm too tired or it's ok if I don't do it just this once. I have to force myself to do it. I hope you are able to meet your goals! I am excited for your renewed resolve! It makes me excited about my goals. If you want we can share our goals with eachother and ask eachother how it's going. I would love a little accountability. Love ya!

Kari said...

Hi Angie! I totally agree about eternal friends and I consider you to be one of mine!!! You are actually one of the oldest friends I am still in contact with! And I agree I can accomplish anything I set my mind too. I think losing weight is 50 percent physical and 50 percent mental haha! I love ya too!

That's a great idea that Bryan is doing Cindy! I would love to know what your goals are! I need to also be accountable for what I do too! Losing weight is something I have to do! I can't have any more excuses. I have to do it to be more healthy! So let's be each others motivators!! :).. Love ya Cindy!