Rollercoaster

I hate that it seems like I NEVER have time to write much anymore.. Seriously when did life get so busy that we can't do the little things? I miss blogging but at the same time I don't have much to say sometimes.. I work, sleep, work, sleep, work sleep.. have a weekend, sleep and then continue the next week.

So, back in April I started dating Travis. Him and I started talking in March. He is 33 will be 34 4 days after my 30th birthday.. He was married for 4 years but with the chick for 9 years and they separated last October. In December he was laid off from his good paying job and his divorce was final in February. So he has gone through a lot in the last 10 months.

Travis and I have a lot in common, and when I say a lot I mean a lot.. it's even odd that we finish each others sentences. We are so much a like that it's funny. We even like a lot of the same music.

Well, I have fallen in love with him and I did a while ago... and I finally told him this last saturday. I didn't mean for it to happen it just did. The reason it is so hard for me date him right now is he doesn't feel like he can be exclusive with me right now, which I can understand, he's been through a lot. Travis and I almost ended everything last saturday, and it was very emotional for me. But it ended up being a miscommunication over text. But we talked about it... and I told him how I truly feel and why it hurts me so bad to know he goes on another date here or there.

I found out last month that he was dating another girl and it pissed me off. It's like tell me upfront your doing that. I almost sent him packing then.

I have been on a "Love Rollercoaster" for the past 6 weeks, and it sucks. I really hope one day soon he pulls his head out. He just tells me he can't be a good boyfriend right now cause his life is so up in the air..

He better figure it out one day or this girl is moving on... and not looking back..

Rosie

WOOHOO! I finally decided to buy a brand new car! My old car was fine but I felt like it was a car a young kid right of high school would drive. My sister has been wanting a car so I decided that she could take over my payments on the other car..(I owe just one more year on it) and that I would get a new car! I didn't plan on getting a Honda! I drove a Civic and I was in love. I couldn't beat .9% on interest for 5 years. I was shocked that I got that interest rate. COMPLETELY SHOCKED! I absolutely love my new car. Check out the pics on facebook! :)

GooGoo for Gaga! And still loving the Scissor Sisters....

Last night I went to the Lady Gaga Concert! :). It was a great show. She really has a great message. She said she was bullied as a kid and teenager. She really has a beautiful voice. She said we should accept all people not matter their ethnicity, sexual orientation or how they look. My mom from when I was young told me to accept everyone. The woman can dance... sing and put on an AWESOME SHOW!

My favorite band is the Scissor Sisters... and they opened up for her! I saw them in Vegas back in September of 2010! And met the lead singer of the Scissor Sisters. He was so nice. The other lead singer Anamatronic (her name is Anna lol) said at last nights concert that "You probably haven't heard of us unless your British or gay." I am neither British or gay. My friend just happened to stumble across their music. I am so glad she did. I love the Scissor Sisters music! 3 of the 4 band mates are gay men. Ana is married. This was probably one of the best concerts I have been too! It was great!

I need to stay focused!

Yes, I have been going to the gym... some days I have lacked motivation but I can't DO THAT anymore! Now, that I am going back to work I think that having to be to work by a certain time and getting to the gym will work just fine. I need to get in better shape... I need to be more healthy.

Back to reality!

I go back to work on Monday the 14th. I can not wait. I have been furloughed from work since December 3rd. I have enjoyed the time off :). But it's time to go back. I need to start saving up for my Washington DC/NYC trip in October!! Can't wait! It's gonna be awesome. I am going to go see my cousin Jaymie I have not seen in almost 12 years. It's going to be a great reunion!

I HATE Valentines Day!

Most people love this holiday! I do not. I think one of my "trials" in life is that I have not found the one I am supposed to marry. Most of my friends are married and have been for years! Then there is me the 29 year old single girl. SUCKS!

I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!! I hate Valentines Day!!!

No Excuses

So the past 6 weeks I have been working out. I am LOVING it! I crave exercise now. For the most part I have not drank pop in 6 weeks. I have replaced my love with pop with water. Every day I get up and get excited to go to the gym. I usually don't have time to read. But I have started reading while I am walking on the treadmill. I am enjoying the weight training aspect of exercising. Although it a lot of times kicks my butt. It hasn't been hard to start eating better. I have started using a calorie tracker app on my phone. And it has helped me make better choices when I eat if I am out and about with family or friends.

A lot of people recently have talked about wanting to get in shape but have not taken ACTION to do what they really NEED to do. People use the excuse that they don't have the time to exercise. I love this quote from my gym....

"Those who think they have no time for exercise, will sooner or later have to find time for illness."

Which is completely true. If you don't make time for the gym or exercise now you will have health problems in the future. Heart problems run in my family with some people who are a little more overweight also diabetes runs in my family. I do not want to have either. I want to live a long healthy and happy life and getting in shape will make me more healthy. It also has been a good stress relief for me.

My life as of late...

Well, I am finally starting to feel the pains of the economy. Yes, I have a great job. But, I can't work if congress doesn't pass the federal budget as a seasonal employee. It's really starting to piss me off. I make good money and I my sole provider. If I am not making money I am not able to pay my bills. Granted I get good unemployment but the crappy part is I owe taxes this year. And I HAVE TO PAY THEM ON TIME! Or I am totally screwed. I can lose my job. Yes, I am a little stressed.

January 24-29th I went and visited one of my best friends.. Cindy! I had a great time. And I am gonna make a point of seeing her a few times a year even if it going down on a weekend :). We had a lot of fun. I feel like whenever I see her that we just pick up where we left off. She claims that she is boring. But I love spending time with her! She is someone I aspire to be like!

The gym is going well. A couple weeks ago I took a week and a half break. I was sick and then went to Cindy's I am feeling great. I have a strong support system and that has been awesome.

30, fLiRty & FaBuLoUs!!!

Okay so for the past few weeks I have seriously felt depressed. I am one who is positive and happy but recently I have really felt down. I had read a journal entry from a few years ago that I had made. Sad, thing is I had a lot of the feelings that I had from then. And guess what the problem was? ME! I'll admit it. I am one that thinks life should just happen for me. If I want to change MY life, I have to do it myself!!! I am not gonna lose weight by hoping. I have to take action to get what I want in LIFE! By not taking action I am losing out on life and it's my own fault.

So what is in store for me this year? I am turning 30 which I'll be honest is freaking me out! But to be honest why should it? It's just a new chapter in my life. If I am able to get time off work I am going to visit my cousin Jaymie in Washington DC for 2 weeks. What a way to turn 30? Going on vacation.

I am my own worst critic I need to get back to the gym which I am starting today...and not give up and keep going. My weight isn't gonna fall off overnight!!!!! I shouldn't expect it too!

So here is to a great year! I am gonna start making myself a better person mentally, physically and emotionally! It's gonna be a long journey but I am ready!