Does anyone even read my blog?

Probably not!! I rarely post anything. Not that I don't have lots going on. I just sometimes think I am lame! Which is why I don't post..

What have I been up to?

Well, I was extremely sick over Thanksgiving and almost had to go to the ER thanksgiving day. I could not breathe. I could go outside and breathe just fine because it was so cold. Well like an idiot I still went and did Black Friday shopping with my friend and her friend. Got home at 7am and I slept till 3:30 and then went to the doctor. I had a virus.. but also had an ear infection. Even though I was so sick I still went to the BYU vs UTAH football game. It was an awesome game. :). Then on December 3rd I got furloughed from work. It has been extremely nice having time off work but I am starting to get bored. December 4th I went to a fun ornament exchange party. Well, like an Idiot my paint didn't dry on my ornaments so they had leaked out. That was interesting.. but they turned out cute. Then later that day I went to go the festival of trees with my friend's Tiffany and Felice and Tiffany's little girl Paisley! It was a blast. December 15th I had a work Christmas party that I went to. It was good seeing my team. On December 18th, I went to my friend Jessica's ward party.. It was actually kind of lame and Jessica would admit that too. Her and I exchanged gifts and then her friend from her ward came over and we talked for a good 3 hours. It was a pretty intense conversation.. but her friend Robyn is super nice! As most of you know I have been struggling with my beliefs at church which has kept me away over half of the last decade. A lot of what Robyn was talking about opened my eyes to some things. It was great. Christmas was wonderful with my family. I just LOVE my family and all of my awesome friends... they always spoil me and I am so grateful for everything people do for me. I went to my grandma's house on Christmas. It was great!! We ate, opened gifts and just enjoyed being together as a family.

I am starting ANOTHER EXERCISE program tomorrow. It's time to get in shape. I no longer feel "comfortable" in my own skin.. which means I need to make some life changes... so here goes.. Those who have lost weight, how do you keep the motivation?

So Sad... :(

As most of you know. I am a HUGE University of Utah fan. I was so sad that they let TCU dominate the game yesterday. They didn't even show up to the game and got their butts kicked. I know that they are a better team than that. They let this big game get to their head and then BAM.. nothing. 47-7 guys? Seriously? What pissed me off the most that maybe 20,000 fans left early! And then Utah fans started booing their team. Come on guys, they can't win them all.. and you LOVE them when they win.. can't you love them when they LOSE? GRRR! Oh well. I am hoping they atleast go 11-1 on the season!!

So fed up.... WITH MEN!

So, I feel like I just wasted the last 6 almost 7 months of my life. I had been dating a guy. And well Thursday he had said something about hanging out this weekend. Well, I told him that he had been acting distant lately (which he had been). And I basically told him I have felt like I have been in the friend zone a while. And he said and I quote "We are friends. I really don't want more than that with anyone right now. But you are important to me. I apologize for being distant lately." For one, why had he been leading me on for months and telling me he likes me...and then says that. For two.. be man enough that you are ALMOST 30 and just say hey right now I am not looking for anything upfront. Instead of stringing my emotions a long for months. He will email me at work and act like nothing is wrong, so I had to send him an email that said.. let me clear my head and then maybe we can be friends in the near future. I am fed up with dating. Seriously. I am 29 and I feel like I have dated a lot of "young" guys who don't know what the heck they want.

I would like my friends to set me up with guys they think I would be compatible with rather than ones that I have nothing in common with. I really want to be in a relationship that leads to marriage. I am meeting all the wrong guys. It sucks. People keep saying

You gotta kiss a lot of frogs, to find your prince.

My response is...

You live in a fantasy world and have watched too many DISNEY movies.

My heart is broken and I feel sad...

29 things I want to accomplish before my 30th birthday.

Well it's an hour into my birthday. I have been pretty negative lately. I always get a little meloncholy around my birthday cause I never feel like I really accomplish anything. I have decided that it's time to make me a better me and start doing stuff to better my life. Here are 29 serious and funny things I want to do in the next year.

1. Get back to the gym and lose weight.
2. Start eating better.
3. Learn how to budget my money better and stick to a budget.
4. Have a couple thousand saved dollars saved up in my savings account.
5. Get out and meet new people.
6. Try to start going back to church.
7. Get out and date more.
8. Go on some vacations.
9. Get a permanent position with the Federal Government.
10. Buy a flat screen tv and a blu ray player.
11. Pay down my debt.
12. Be a better friend.
13. Reconnect people from my past.
14. Be the best person I can be.
15. Be more positive.
16. Take more pictures.
17. Read more.
18. Learn to be happy with myself.
19. Live with no regrets.
20. Do more crafts.
21. Be happy with being single.
22. Get a passport and use it!
23. Visit with my grandma more.
24. Move into my own place.
25. Write poetry more often.
26. Stop and "smell the roses" everyday, find the joy in every day.
27. Learn to sew.
28. Make someone's day whenever you can.
29. Thank God everyday for something.

Let's hope that I can do this. :). Even if I don't that's okay. But.. in the next year of my life I want to try to start making something of myself.

Lion King!!

So, this afternoon I went to my first broadway show.. granted I know I am NOT anywhere close to NYC. But Capitol Theatre has broadway shows from touring companies. I saw Lion King and I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! :) Rafiki was my favorite character in the musical. In the movie Rafiki's voice is a man's voice in the play it's a woman who had an amazing voice. :). It was so colorful and fun. I went with my friend Felice and her family it was fun. :). I need to go musicals more often. I LOVE THEM!

What have I been up to?

Can't say that I have been up to much! Well, I take that back. It's been a fairly busy summer, I have worked overtime all summer, which has made for some nice checks. Looking like I will get some time off at the end of the year. Which I am looking forward too. I hate working around the holidays.

Since I am single I have decided I need to travel more. So next year for my 30th birthday I am going to Washington DC. I have a cousin back there who said I could stay at her house. So, I plan on being gone for 2 1/2 weeks. Should be a good time. I am also planning a trip to San Francisco with a couple of friends.. And not to mention, I am going to vegas in a little under 3 weeks! I will be flying in a plane for the first time. But I am excited. It'll be fun! I will be going to a concert of one of my favorite bands, going to the bellagio for dinner one night (heard they have the best buffet), going shopping, watching college football, Going to a cirque de solei show, people watching and just have a fabulous time with my friend felice. :) Can't wait!

My 29th birthday is coming up pretty soon. I am trying to decide what I want to go and do. :)

Flaming Gorge & Vegas!

So from July 9th-11th I was in flaming gorge with my step dad's side of the family. The water was too cold to swim in (that didn't stop the kids from swimming). I went swimming twice and had enough. I got lost on the way up there and drove 50 miles out of the way. Oh well. It was fun though. Didn't take any pictures. But my dog had a blast in the water. It rained a lot, and it was super hot. I had from the 9th-13th off of work. It was a much needed break!

I am so excited! I am going to Vegas in September with one of my favorite and bestest friends Felice. We are going to our favorite band's concert, going to a cirque de solei show and I AM FLYING for the first time in my life. I can't wait to go!

New bedroom set

I bought a new bedroom set for a little over $1,000.00. It's fantastic! :). LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT! It came with a tall dresser, night stand, headboard and footboard, and a shorter dresser that you can put a TV on. I get it delivered on thursday. And the best part is I have a year to pay it off. Can't wait!

One of those nights...

I just know if I go to bed I will probably toss and turn all night. I don't know why. I know people probably get sick of hearing this but when AM I GONNA MEET the right guy? I have been dating this guy Matt for about 2 months. But I am beginning to think it's not going anywhere. So, why should I even bother? Seriously? Believe me I date ALOT! Some guys I just don't click with. I don't think I am horribly ugly. Am I? I really want to meet a good guy, get married, and then maybe have a couple kids. I am starting to wonder if I am never going to get married. :(.

I am ready for summer!

Life is good. :). I can't complain. I <3>

I recently started dating someone. It's nothing "major" yet. But he is a great guy and I like him a lot. We have a lot of fun together. He is about 8 months older than me. He works with my friend at the IRS in another building and she thought, oh..hey you guys would go good together. HAHA..so here we are 6 weeks later.

April 16th-19th I went and visted my dearest friend Cindy. I just LOVE the neighbor she lives in. :). It's so cool. I REALLY want to move into her neighborhood. If I had a job in the SLC area I would gladly move into their basement :). It's the neatest neighborhood. On friday we took her 4 kids to the park. And then when her husband got off work we went to a place called Indian Fusion. So GOOD! There was a belly dancer who kept coming up dancing by me. I felt uncomfortable.. haha! Poor Bryan felt more uncomfortable. :(. Then saturday we went and got pedicures and then hung out. Monday was fun. I went and bought a new phone (WHICH I LOVE! And we went out to lunch. And then I had to go home after that.. I miss Cindy so much and I wish we lived closer. I need to make it a point to go and visit a couple times a year. Thanks Cindy for a great weekend.

I recently got my new glasses and I <3>

I am happy...

My friend Linda decided to hook me up with a guy she works with at the IRS. I HATE being set up on blind dates cause they usually never work. I also NEVER after 5 days am ready to meet someone I started talking to. I am never that way. We've gone on two dates and I feel completely at ease with him. We are alike in so many ways. I feel a strong connection with him. I haven't had that in long time. I wasn't looking to really date anyone..but I am starting to think this might have been a good idea. :). I'll keep you all posted. :)

I am so VERY LUCKY :)

So, on wednesday I took my car to the dealership to get the oil changed and to see why it burns oil so fast... I though there would be some simple explanation.... there wasn't!!! Come to find out the engine needed to be replaced? I had to ask the mechanic at the dealership a couple times if he was sure.. Well, I bought my car in 2007 and my car is a 2001.. Well my car is still under warranty so I only have to pay for a tune up. They are paying the other $2,500.00 dollars! And my dealership also rented me a car free of charge from enterprise rentals. I was going to trade my car in and get something newer, now I think I might just drive it into the ground.. It only has 91K miles and now with a new engine...it could run forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)... The best part of it is my warranty runs out in may! :). So, I got it in just in time!!! :).. YAY!

BRING ON SPRING!!!

I always start getting giddy this time of year. I LOVE TO BE OUTSIDE! It makes me sad when I have to go to work at 4:00pm and everyone else is going out to do something fun for the evening! Oh well. I will get to have a bit of a summer this year cause I will be off work. This will probably be my last furlough until I retire. I am more than likely going to have a permanent job in my area come October. Which I am excited about. But then again the thought of working year round makes me sick.. haha! I need a husband to pay all my bills... ***SIGH*** :)

In September I am going to go and see Lion King on broadway in Utah. I am very stoked. I have never been to a broadway show! I would sell a kidney to go to Wicked! I love that musical. It is so good!

This spring/summer I plan on spending a lot of time outside... I probably will do a lot of camping. I just love camping! I also love hiking! I go with my friend Maryann to take her daughter swimming a lot too. That should be a lot of fun! I plan on making lots of plans!

I absolutely love my job. It's great. It's a very hard job..but I feel like I am doing a good job at it. I have an awesome new boss (her son worked in Code and Edit with me), she is great! I like what I do.. and going to work isn't that much of a chore anymore. Even though some days it feels like it.

Nothing too exciting is going on..that's why I don't post that much anymore. I work, sleep, and do stuff ocassionally with friends... The life of a 28 year single gal. I gotta get out and do more. :).

People make me sick!

So on thursday as most everyone heard.. A small plane hit an IRS building in Austin, TX. While most of you think this isn't that big of a deal it's a big deal to me. As you all know I work for the IRS. And I know that people don't like the IRS...and people don't like paying taxes, I sure as heck hate paying taxes. But I do it. But I am not gonna go on a tax rant. I ocassionally go to ksl.com and read about what's going on locally, nationally etc. Well, tonight when I got off of work I decided to go on and read the threads that people have posted about what happened in Austin.. Most were complaining about the IRS and about paying taxes. And they called the Pilot heroic? EXCUSE ME? Seriously you are calling this guy heroic? If it happened in Utah would all these people be posting what they had been. The filith that came out of there mouth was disgusting. If that happened here in Utah, the posts would've been "I have friends or family who work there or this is tragic and I can't believe it happened in Utah. We had a drill at work today on what we'd do in a situation similiar to this.. In the Ogden area there are about 13 different IRS buildings. One guy jokingly said "Well hopefully if something like this happens again they will hit the main building." I looked at him and told him to shut up, and that I have a lot of friends over there. It really bothered me. I don't know why people think stuff like this is funny. Who knows one day it could happen in Utah, I pray that it doesn't but who knows with all the crazies out there. My thoughts and prayers are with those who were affected. It just hit a little too close to home today.

I have the greatest friends!

I really count myself very lucky to have the group of friends that I have. Each is different in their own ways. Some I have known 20 plus years. Others I've met in the last decade. Each is very special in their own way. They know what to say when I am having a bad day. I am a better person in knowing each and every one of you. I sometimes feel overwhelmed with the love that my friends show me. You all mean the world to me :).

I want to trade my life in for a NEW LIFE!

Seriously, I am freaking bored with how my life is going. I work, sleep, work, sleep. I know that's part of being a grown up. But also my social life is beginning to suck as well. I'm a social butterfly so it pisses me off. Most weekends I am at home doing nothing. Most of my friends are married, dating someone, engaged or have kids. Not that there is anything wrong with it. I am bored. I don't go to single wards or really church for that matter. Even if I did I constantly get the "why aren't you married spill." Am I that abnormal to be 28 and not married?! In Utah I am. I stopped going to church...because every week I would have SOMEBODY ask "why aren't you married yet?" I got sick of it. Seriously sick of it. I'm a good person. I've dated a ton and had numerous boyfriends. But even then it hasn't gotten me anywhere. I am sick of trying, sick of looking. I just want to active social life back. Is that too much to ask? I used to go out every weekend with friends. Now, I am lucky if I even leave the house on the weekend. I hate being alone! I'd rather do things with friends. I guess I should just start working all the overtime I can when I am able too..and screw having a life. Ugh.... I want a new life.. one that DOESN'T SUCK!!!!!

New Year.. New job!!!

So.. after one week of training I have decided I like my new job! I like it more than the job I was at for 2 1/2 months. The training is a lot better over there. The trainers have ACTUALLY gone through instructor training so they know how to instruct. It's a lot to learn but it's very interesting. I am now someone who assists the auditors in the audit process (YEP.. I am one of the bad guys now.. haha). I look through correspondence making sure the Taxpayer sends us in EVERYTHING we need to we can audit them. I am a little nervous about being on the phones..but on swing shift it's minimal. So. I won't complain. I have 5 more weeks of training.. EEK!

I've come to realize....

As I get older that friends come and go..but there are a few precious ones to hold on to forever. I have a friend who I have been friends with for years drop off the face of the earth in the past year. Last I saw her was at the Celine Dion concert last february. I emailed her, called her, even sent her a christmas card. NOTHING.. no acknowledgement. No saying "Hi, everything is okay". I'm done trying with her. I was in her wedding. Got to know her after high school.. but she was a year ahead of me in school. I do understand life is busy...and at times I am not the best friend because sometimes I let too much time go by before I call or email someone. Life gets busy and time escapes me. A lot of good friends from high school...I really don't have contact with! I have two of my best friends from high school I'm on contact with and that is Cindy and Maryann. Everyone else I ocassionally talk to on facebook. It makes me sad, but it's a part of life. My ten year high school reunion is this year. And to be honest I am not sure if I am gonna go. A lot of those people from high school are on facebook. But why spend money to go to a reunion to see a lot of people that you'll make intentions of staying in contact with when you know that you won't. I mean honestly.. Im still single and I work... who wants to hear about my life the past 10 years? Nothing of great importance happened in my life..Im curious to see where some of my friends are. But, if our friendship had been more important wouldn't we have made an effort to stay in contact or heaven forbid see each other in the past 10 years? I just don't think I am going to the reunion! Unless I am dragged which could be a possibility. Most of my friends now are friends I've made in the last 10 years..and most of them have been through work. I do have several friends I've met through work whom I hang out with on a regular basis outside work. I remember a saying for elementary that said "Make new friends but keep the old one is silver and the other is gold!". Isn't that the truth.

I've also come to realize that if I want to have things in life.. I have to work for them. If I want to lose weight I have to work for it. It's not just going to happen over night. This is the year I am going to get in shape. I know, I know I say that. But I am 28 years old and sick of being the "funny fat chick". I went and bought a wii fit, signed up for weight watchers and have my gym membership. I am not going to let my worse enemy defeat my will to lose weight. I am my own worse enemy. Guys in Utah like the skinnier girls. And if people tell me they don't I think they are lying. I've always been one to go on plenty of dates, have plenty of boyfriends but it seems like it never ends up working out. I attribute that to my lack of self confidence because I am overweight. I am shy with guys, always have been. I think losing weight i'd feel more confident to approach a guy who I think is cute. Im sick of watching my life pass me by. Im 28 years old and what do I have to show for myself? I have a great job..whoopti do! Most people my age have kids and a wife or a husband. Own their own home...and the list could go on! People say I am lucky that I am not married yet well when you've been single this long it starts to become a burden. I hate when I first meet someone their first question is "Do you have kids?" "Are you married?" "Oh, well how come you aren't married yet?" It's annoying. What do I tell them? I don't know why I am not married yet. How can I answer that question? Is there anything wrong with me? NO. Am I a mutant? No... I just am not married yet. Anywhere else in the country I'd be normal because they don't get married until they are in their 30s! But guess what now.. that it's 2010 and in 2011 I will be 30. 30 scares me. I need to start living life. BETTERING my life...and do stuff for myself. I need to exercise, eat right, lose weight....buy a house or condo, go back to school...and do something with my life rather than watching it pass by me. I am going to start living my life like I will never get married...and buy a house, go to school, work...and hang out with friends when I get a chance. No one can do these things for me. I keep throwing around the idea of moving out of Utah. I think the main reason I want to do that is because Im not having any luck with the guys in Utah. I just want to go where it's normal to be 28 and not married. Rather than being in Utah's bubble where 28 is an old maid... I remember when I was in high school and I saw people from church who were 25 or 30 and not married. I wondered what was wrong with them and why they weren't married. And now I am one of those non married people.. It's all so frustrating. People keep saying it'll happen in time. Well I am giving up hope on the whole thing..and I am going to better myself and if my better half comes into my life then great! If not then atleast I'll have my own life!

HAHA! Man, this post probably makes me sound like I am depressed. I'm not I just felt like venting. I am blessed for the friends I have. The friends I will meet. I am grateful to have an good paying job in this economy! I just hope that good things will happen in 2010 for my friends, my family and for everyone. :).